Dear White and Black People

Mixed Girl Monday, Race

First things first, if you haven’t watched Netflix’s new series Dear White People please find the time to do so. If you have watched it, then you are aware of how the context of this post is going to go. So let’s get this thing started.

Dear White People, I am biracial, I am American, I am human. Please stop acting like I’m an exotic species.

Dear Black People, I am biracial, I am American, I am human. Please stop making me feel as though I’m less than any of those things.

Dear White People, for the love of all things holy please stop telling me how bad you want to have a baby with a black guy just so you can have a “cute mixed baby.” Mixed people aren’t some special breed you can just pick. If you want to adopt, adopt because you want to give a child a loving, safe, happy home. Do no adopt because you just want to have a mixed baby, we are not dogs.

Dear Black People, I am very much aware of my light-skin privilege. I know how colorism works in society and the black community. Do not assume that I think I’m better than others, get to know me first before you make rash judgments.

Dear White People, I wake up and wash my hair. That’s how I get these curls. That’s all.

Dear White and Black People, stop trying to put me in a box. I am biracial. Being biracial is a thing, do not make me discredit half of who I am just so you feel comfortable.

Dear White People, stop telling me I can’t get offended when you make a racist comment “because I’m not really black.” And to piggy-back off that, I have the right to take offense to any prejudice or racism I see, half of who I am is black and if you feel that way about black people, you feel that way about me. There is no “oh no I don’t think of you that way because you aren’t really black.” Yes, I am. So just think of that next time.

Dear Black People, I know I will never understand the full extent of your struggle, but just remember that there are people in the world who think I am you and treat me the same. Just because I’m half white doesn’t mean I’m protected from the racism and ignorance of some people.

Dear Black People, you can be racist too. Racism is not just limited to white people. By assuming that all white people are racist and out to steal from the black community, you are conforming to the same mindset of those white people who assume all black people are illiterate thugs.

Dear Entire World, until we can all realize that no one is their stereotype, there will continue to be racism and hatred in the world. Until we can all accept each other for our differences there will be no peace. I understand that there is deep rooted institutionalized racism in our world and that may never go away. But we can not continue to turn a blind eye when we see someone become another victim of an unjust society.

Dr. King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, and Harriet Tubman, they did not sit quietly and wait for someone else to do something, They got up and fought for what they believed in. They didn’t just sit around and complain about how unfair the world was, they got up and fought to make it a little more fair. We have come a long way from then, but there is still much more to be done.

Dear White and Black People, will you stand with me? Can we put aside our differences and accept that God made us all different for a reason. Can we work on respecting each other’s culture and not appropriating it for fame? Can we learn from each other?

Sincerely,
A biracial millennial trying to find her voice

Curly Hair Struggles

Mixed Girl Monday

Throughout my life, one of the first things people comment on when they meet me is my hair. They love the way it looks and can’t believe that it is all real. My family is even baffled and amazed

img_4833

This is my hair when it was at it’s longest.

To me, though, my hair is just my hair. It’s this long, curly, thick beast that I am still learning how to tame. Although I have learned to manage it a thousand times better from when I was younger, I still have a long way to go.

I know I’m not alone in this curly hair struggle, and I’m sure there are hundreds of girls who can relate with me when I say, one does not just wake up with perfect curls. It’s a process, and each day is never the same.

Some days I am fortunate enough to wake up and my hair does not look like this weird half bird nest, half I don’t even know how to describe its style. But, those days are few and far between.

I love my hair, I am thankful that I can wear it curly and straight. When I was younger I begged my mom to let me get a perm to make my hair straight all the time, and I am very happy that she never allowed me to. I have heard horror stories from people with similar hair textures as me about how when they went back natural, their curl pattern was never the same.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t had my share of hair horror stories. Let’s take a trip back in time, to what I like to call The Dark Ages….

Once upon a time, my mom took me to this small country hair salon, and bless the ladies heart, I don’t think she had ever dealt with my type of hair before.

I wanted to cut my hair short, I was tired of it being long, and I wanted layers. All the other girls I went to school with had layers. All the other girls I went to school with also had relatively straight hair, so just keep that in mind.

 

bad-hair

We all have that “one” hairstyle…

My mom semi-willingly agreed that I could cut my hair and get layers. I was so excited, the lady cut my hair, dry, *red flag #1.* When she was done, I looked in the mirror and stared face to face with a girl that looked like she had a pyramid on top of her head. I was mortified.

 

From that day forward, I vowed to never cut my hair short, ever again. Well until Christmas 2015. But I was older and more mature, and have found the best hair stylist ever. Kylee, you’re my hero.

Honestly, I’m not sure what state of awfulness my hair would be in had I not met Kylee. She always listens to the ideas I want to do with my hair, and if she doesn’t think what I want will look good on me, she offers an alternative that still embodies my idea, and when finished, looks 100 times better than what I had wanted in the first place.

The keys to surviving in this world with curls are simple:
First, find a hairstylist you would trust with your life because if you’re like me, your hair is your life.
Second, be willing to spend the big bucks on hair products
Finally, love the hair you have. Don’t try to change one of the things that make you unique.

What are some of your hair horror stories? Share with me in the comment section!

 

img_8163-3

My hair is slowly growing back, and I’m so in love with my bangs!