It’s Okay to be Selfish Sometimes

Family, Mental Health

I have come to the realization that now is the perfect, and possibly only time in my life for me to be 100% selfish. Now I don’t mean selfish in the way of not sharing or withholding things from other people, I’m talking about being selfish with my time, with what I choose to do and who I choose to do it with.

Our twenties are the most confusing and challenging decade of our life because for the first time in our lives we have complete control over what we do. For the most part, we aren’t tied down with kids and family life, we have the liberty of finding a job where ever in the world we so choose, and we don’t have to answer to our parents anymore. (I’m not saying be disrespectful, but we don’t have to live by the “house rules” anymore.)

So I am taking this time to be selfish, I have a lot that I want to accomplish in this next decade, and I’m not going to let anything or anyone hold me back. My dream is to work in a PR or Ad agency in Chicago, and I plan on making that dream a reality in the next two years. But first, I need to graduate.

I’m also being selfish with the people I choose to let into my life. Just because you’ve known someone for a long time, or even if that person is a family member, doesn’t mean you have to let them be a big part of your life. Always be respectful, but the sun doesn’t need to rise and set on what they think about you.

I heard a great sermon at church a few weeks ago, and one thing that stuck with me from the message was a simple question; “what happens when helping you is hurting me?”

People are most likely going to get mad at you for taking care of yourself instead of taking care of them, you might get called names and you might lose some friends. But the truth is if they can’t see that you’re being selfish in order to better your self and regain control over your life, then they weren’t the kind of friends you needed in the first place.

I’m taking an oath to work on being selfish with my time and energy. I am too young to be stressing out about things that I have no control over. I don’t need to worry about what people think about the choices I make, as long as I’m being smart and the choice makes me happy, that’s all that should really matter.

I encourage all of you reading this to do the same, even if you aren’t in your twenties, find an area of your life that needs a little TLC and become selfish with it. Take time out of the crazy, hectic day for you. Your mental health is far too precious to be taken for granted.

If you have any helpful self-help/mental health practices that you try to work into your daily routine, I would love to hear about them in the comment section below!

Busiest. Day. Ever.

Family

So here’s a little story about the busiest day of my life (thus far). It all started at 4 a.m. Saturday, April 8.

I woke up in my cozy little apartment in Conway, AR, ready to start the long journey ahead of me. I was about to travel to Chicago for the day for my grandmothers 80th (surprise) birthday party. I had to be 100% ready for the party before I go on the road, so I sleepily found my outfit and attempted to put on makeup (which by the way did not work out).

I got on the road around 5 a.m. to meet my uncle and cousins in Memphis to catch the jet to Chicago. Yes, you read that correctly, on this wonderful day I got the privilege to check flying on a private jet off my bucket list (eep!). Anyways, my dad had told me I needed to be at the place by 9 a.m., I gave myself an extra hour just in case I got lost, or there was a wreck or something crazy.

Anyways.. the drive to Memphis was long and boring, I fueled up on Red Bull and Burger King (awful combo btw) and was on my way. Needless to say, I made it to Memphis around 7:30 a.m. (I have a tendency to arrive places entirely too early). This all ended up working in my favor because while I was putting my makeup on in the wee hours of the morning, I had forgotten to apply mascara. So I decided to find a Wal-Mart to pick up a cheap tube of mascara and of course, pass the time.

I went back to the airport and waited…and waited…and waited some more. When my uncle and cousins arrived we boarded the plane and were on our way. I love flying and for some reason, I thought flying on a jet would be different, but in reality, it wasn’t. I never had to turn my phone off but once we got up high enough it stopped working so it was basically the same as any other flight, minus the massive amounts of people and better snacks.

We landed at a municipal airport in the middle of nowhere, not a soul was to be seen. Had I not known where we were flying into I would’ve never guessed we were right outside Chicago. My cousin Jordan called an Uber and off we were to the party. We made it just in time for the surprise. Those first moments of my grandma taking in the surprise and seeing all of her family and friends are memories I’ll cherish forever. I am so happy I was able to be there to celebrate with her.

The rest of the party went relatively smooth, I sat at a table with the rest of my cousins and we all just talked and caught up on each other’s lives. Time flew by and I was sad when my uncle told me it was time to leave. The long journey home was upon me.

We landed back in Memphis around 5 p.m. and I immediately hit the road back to Conway. I was so tired and it took everything in me not to fall asleep while I was driving. I did have a pretty cool realization though, I saw the sun fully rise and fully set in the same day. It was really pretty, and the sunset was relaxing after such a long and busy day.

I finally made it back to Conway around 7:45-8 p.m. and I literally ate dinner as fast as possible and passed out. I woke up around 12:30 a.m. and stayed up for an hour, but once I fell asleep again I was out like a light, and that concludes the busiest day of my life… thus far.

 

 

I Have a Kid?

Family

In my first post, I told you all how I am the oldest of 7, and that the other 6 are all boys (yikes)! Today I thought I would share a story/experience that happens more often than I would like.IMG_6479

My brother Marcus is 16 years and 3 days younger than me, we have such a close bond and it’s always amazing to me when I run into people who have that large of an age gap between their siblings.

With that age gap though comes some very interesting problems. The most common of which is that he is mistaken as my child! I have honestly lost count of how many instances I have been in when people ask/assume that he is my son.

The most recent incident was this past weekend when I was out at dinner with my aunt, cousin, Grandma, and Marcus. Since there is a 16-year gap between us I occasionally have to get on to Marcus and make sure he is behaving, especially if my mom or Willie aren’t around. Anyways, Marcus was not eating his food so I was trying to get him to take a bite. The waiter convenientlyIMG_5590.JPG came at the same time as I was telling Marcus (who was refusing) to take a bite. In a sweet voice, the waiter said: “come on take a bite from Mommy.” My aunt looked over at me and tried to hold in a laugh. I just pretended not to notice.

This is a very common situation, though, it has become a joke within the family, and my brother Noah and I joke that people probably think him and I are a couple and Marcus is our kid whenever we take him out places alone. I mean we all look similar enough for it to make sense, and since there is such an age gap I understand how people can make the mistake. It’s just always awkward for both parties whenever it happens.

I know I am not alone in this experience, there are probably thousands if not millions of people around the world who have a younger sibling or cousin that gets mistaken as their child. I am just writing this because it’s funny, and to also let them know that they are not alone!

Sometimes I want to just wear t-shirts that say “He’s my Lil bro” and “She’s my big sis” so that people don’t have to even wonder or assume.

Have you ever had an experience similar to this? If so share your story in the comments below!