With the beginning of the New Year still fresh on everyone’s mind, I have decided to add something new to my “resolution” list. I think for this blog to be as awesome as I want it to be, I will need to become more transparent in what I am calling my journey.
I mean at the end of the day that is what this blog is about.. Jasmine’s Journey.. I am Jasmine so it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share my entire journey with you all. So here we go.
Like most girls in their 20s, I have had a few crushes, and even a few relationships. This past one, I think, taught me the most lessons. When I say lessons I don’t just mean what I want in the next guy I date, I also mean the relationship taught me a little more about who I am.
After some thought, and time, I have decided to share my experience of a long distance relationship.
First, let me make this disclaimer, I am not against LDRs in any way. For some people it is unavoidable, and under the perfect circumstance, it can work out. Obviously, this post is about an LDR that did not work.
Lesson #1: Communication is Key
For starters, it is hard to make any relationship work if 90% of the communication is via text messages. I am a millennial and I will own up to that. Constantly texting your significant other is not healthy. Both parties need to be open to other forms of communication, and if your SO isn’t willing, or makes it seem like too much of a hassle to talk on the phone or FaceTime, then that should be red flag #1.
The key to making any LDR successful is communication. I can say that is something my LDR lacked. Even though we texted all day every day, we hardly ever really communicated.
In all future relationships, romantic or not, I am going to make an effort to always have a good line of communication.
Lesson #2: Never Settle
Another issue I found with my LDR is that the entire relationship was always an LDR. We never had a chance to live near each other and just experience what a normal relationship was like… actually no I take that back, we had one summer when we both stayed in the Little Rock area, but that was after we had already been “dating” for months. Then, once summer was over we went right back to our LDR for the next year and a half.
I knew my personality wasn’t up for something like that, but I kept saying once we graduate it will get better. When I would say that, though, I didn’t realize I was settling on my dreams. Never settle.
I have always been a big dreamer, and I’ll be honest some of my dreams are pretty unrealistic, but I don’t want anything, or anyone to hold me back from at least attempting them.
I’m 20, basically 21 now, I’m too young to just sit down and commit to one thing for the rest of my life. This is the only chance in life we get to go out and explore and travel and do all the things we won’t be able to do once we get an established career and family.
Now I was not the one to end the relationship. I was willing to hold on and see what happened once we both graduated, but by him deciding to end things, my life has honestly gotten better. I have nothing against him, but I have realized that by holding on to him, and our relationship, so tight, I was missing out on things that were happening right in front of me.
LDRs are hard. I will always admit and own up to that fact. The people that say LDRs are easy are liars. It wasn’t until just a few weeks ago that I became aware of the stress that the relationship put on me.
But I am thankful for the relationship. He served a purpose for a time in my life, and I appreciate that. I also learned a lot about myself and grew, not only from the experience but from the heartbreak.
Even though this past relationship didn’t end in marriage, I grew, and to me, that makes for a good relationship. I hope you all don’t feel like this is too personal. I want this blog to be a true reflection of my journey, and my journey isn’t going to be all rainbows and sunshine, sometimes there will be clouds and rain.